Living In Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between

It’s disheartening to see the growing conflict between men and women. As I scroll through the internet—like most people do these days—I’m overwhelmed by reels, blogs, and posts that magnify the social, cultural, and economic divide between the sexes.

It’s not hard to find negative stereotypes: men are painted as terrible, emotionally stunted, and financially inadequate, while women are labeled as untrustworthy, selfish, and vengeful. While there may be isolated truths behind some of these claims, they are far from being accurate or representative of most men and women.

I’ll go out on a limb and say it hasn’t always been like this. Yes, men and women have always had differences—but over the past 20 years, these differences have become distorted, exaggerated, and weaponized.

Before I upset anyone, especially women and those pushing for gender equality, let me make this clear: I’ve always believed that men and women should be treated equally. Has society always done that? No. And it’s still something we struggle with. But when it comes to the current social and cultural dysfunction, I believe modern feminism—while making strides toward equality—hasn’t necessarily helped the sexes get along any better.

The growing animosity feels like a cancer, eating away at the natural connection between men and women, which has always been the foundation of human relationships. Whether intentional or not, things have changed—and a few culprits are responsible.

The Internet: The Devil We Know

With the rise of social media—Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and beyond—we’ve seen a clear deterioration in the relationship between men and women. It’s become common to see videos of men labeling women as gold diggers, manipulative, and only interested in transactional relationships. Just as common are videos of women portraying men as emotionless, dangerous, sex-obsessed oppressors.

These narratives are damaging. Relationships are already hard enough to build. When negativity dominates the conversation, meaningful connection becomes even harder.

Online Dating: Swipe Culture

Twenty years ago, people met through family, church, school, social events—even the grocery store. Today, online dating is the norm. And while convenient, it reduces human connection to superficial characteristics: photos, bios, height, income, and weight.

This method pushes both men and women to overlook real, meaningful traits. Women may prioritize tall, wealthy men. Men may focus on physical appearance or weight. As a result, average people—those who might be great partners—get overlooked. This exclusionary mindset fuels the growing disconnect between the sexes.

A Change in Thinking Is Needed

We don’t need to return to the 1950s, where women had limited choices. Nor should we accept the belief that men are incapable of change. There is a third path: see individuals as they truly are.

Treat people based on your personal experience, not what you’ve heard online. Go outside. Meet people. Engage in real conversations. Don’t let the internet shape your view of the opposite sex.

To help reframe your thinking, consider the following:

For Men:

1. Most women do not hate men. That’s nonsense. Many women genuinely want healthy, loving relationships—just like men do.
2. Most women aren’t gold diggers. It’s not unreasonable for a woman to want a partner who can provide. That doesn’t mean she can’t take care of herself—it’s simply a reflection of some lingering cultural norms. Things like paying for dinner are often part of early dating negotiations, not evidence of selfishness.
3. Marriage still benefits men. Contrary to what some online voices claim, studies show that men often benefit significantly—emotionally, physically, and mentally—from marriage. Don’t buy into the idea that it’s a trap.

For Women:

1. Men want more than sex. Many men struggle with expressing emotion—not because they don’t feel, but because they’ve been taught not to. It’s a cultural issue, not a personal flaw.
2. It’s okay to want what you want. But remember: a majority of men are under 6 feet tall, make less than six figures, and look average. That doesn’t mean they aren’t loving, committed, and capable of building a great life with someone.
3. It’s okay for men to approach you. Often, it takes a lot of courage. While you’re under no obligation to reciprocate, politeness goes a long way. Rejection doesn’t have to be cruel.

Final Thoughts

We’ve come a long way from the days when our families set us up. Today, we meet online, not at church or the grocery store—and that’s not likely to change anytime soon. But we can still bring sanity back into relationships by shifting our mindset and rejecting the toxic narratives that pit men and women against each other.

The internet offers a lot of good—but also plenty of garbage. Don’t let the negativity poison your view of the opposite sex. Be the kind of person who looks past the noise and welcomes the opportunity to connect, understand, and build something real in today’s complicated dating world.

Norman Lloyd, MA, LPC, Retired Army Veteran

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