Living In Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between

There’s something profound about hiking in the mountains—especially with the person you’ve chosen to journey through life with. The air is thinner, the path steeper, and the distractions quieter. What’s left is you, your breath, your intention—and if you’re lucky, someone willing to climb beside you, even when the trail gets hard.

This year, my husband and I find ourselves celebrating National Climb a Mountain Day quite literally—on the rugged trails of Colorado. As we lace up our hiking shoes and brace ourselves for the altitude, it’s impossible not to reflect on the mountain we’ve been climbing for years: our relationship.

Step One: Get Up

Relationships, like mountains, ask us to rise—sometimes when we least feel like it. There have been many mornings, in both hiking and love, when the idea of pushing forward felt overwhelming. Our journey as a couple has been anything but flat. We’ve had mismatched expectations, different views on parenting and stepparenting, and different needs when it comes to intimacy, communication, and connection. We’ve faced power struggles, emotional misfires, and times of total disconnection. There were even points where we didn’t think we’d make it.

We broke up—more than once. We even separated for a year, both believing it was truly the end.

And let’s add this: we’re both therapists. You’d think that would make it easier, right? You’d think we’d have the tools, the insight, the communication skills. And we do. But that can also make things trickier. We know how to argue well. We know how to be right. And sometimes, that got in the way of being real, being vulnerable, and being connected.

But somehow, we kept finding our way back. Each time with a little more humility. A little more clarity. A little more strength. Just like hiking—sometimes you need to stop, rest, and recalibrate before you keep going. But the key is: you get up and you show up.

Step Two: Show Up

Showing up in a relationship isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about presence. It’s the willingness to face the mess, the mundane, and the magic… together.

In the early stages of our relationship, showing up often meant pushing through frustration and fear. We had different views on roles in the relationship—who leads, who supports, who sacrifices what. Add in our histories, our traumas, our responsibilities as parents and step-parents—and it was a lot.

Counseling helped. Listening helped. Honest, messy, uncomfortable conversations helped. But what really made a difference was when we each started working on ourselves—not to fix each other, but to meet each other. To show up whole, even when we felt broken.

On the trail, one of us always walks slightly ahead—not out of dominance, but because we’ve learned that one leads while the other recovers, and then we switch. That rhythm is what keeps us going.

Step Three: Navigate Obstacles Together

There’s no map that perfectly outlines the terrain of a relationship. And even when you think you know the way, the trail throws in surprises—just like life.

We’ve navigated deep valleys: seasons of disconnection, sexual mismatch, resentment, and unresolved grief. And we’ve also stood on summits: moments of deep intimacy, laughter, renewed love, shared goals, and healing.

Honestly? No one expected us to make it—not even us at times. But something in us kept whispering: try again.

Now, years later, as we hike this literal mountain in Colorado, we do so with a steady rhythm and a deeper trust. Not because everything is perfect, but because we’ve learned how to face the climb together.

We aren’t “healed”—we’re healing. And we aren’t done climbing—just better equipped for the hike.

The Summit Isn’t the Goal

We’ve learned that the goal isn’t the peak—it’s the process. The growth. The partnership. The ability to stop mid-hike, take in the view, and say, “We’re still here. We’re still climbing. And I’m glad it’s with you.”

And today? We love where we are. Personally and professionally, we feel aligned and excited. We’re building something meaningful together—marriage, a life, a podcast, a purpose. We’ve come so far, and the best part is: we know there’s so much more ahead.

So today, on National Climb a Mountain Day, we honor not just the miles under our boots, but the years under our belt. The tears, the laughter, the almost-goodbyes, and the always-come-backs.

To anyone out there struggling in love: know that rocky paths don’t mean you’re on the wrong trail. Sometimes, they mean you’re climbing something meaningful.

Get up. Show up. Move forward—together. The view is worth it. And the best is still yet to come.

Tammy Fisher, MA, LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST

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