Just a couple of days ago, Norman and I were spending a slow, sunny morning at the farmer’s market at The Pearl in San Antonio. It’s one of my favorite spots—a blend of old-world charm and modern vibes. There’s a fountain pad where kids squeal with delight, green space for lounging, and boutique shops and eateries tucked between preserved buildings. While Norman talked through his thoughts from his latest blog, Battle of the Sexes, I half-listened while soaking in the beauty of the moment.
I watched children chasing bubbles, tumbling across the grass, and kicking a soccer ball with total joy. What struck me was the harmony—they moved together, not apart. Boys, girls, and maybe those still discovering who they are. Black, white, Latino, Asian, Middle Eastern—all laughing, colliding, sharing, and celebrating the pure magic of play.
And it hit me:
We are not born divided.
We are not born with bias.
We don’t come into the world thinking women are too emotional or men don’t feel. We don’t emerge believing someone’s worth is tied to how they look, what they do, or how much they earn. Those are stories we are taught.
Through media, family messages, religion, playground whispers, and later, algorithm-curated content, we learn to categorize, judge, expect, and defend ourselves based on our gender. And those messages stick.
Myths Men Are Taught About Women
From a young age, many men are conditioned to believe certain things about women that distort their ability to connect authentically. These myths don’t just shape their expectations of women—they also shape their behavior, emotional expression, and self-worth.
- “Women are too emotional to be rational.”
This myth dismisses emotional intelligence and labels vulnerability as weakness instead of wisdom. It creates distance instead of empathy. - “Women are naturally manipulative—especially with sex.”
This belief breeds distrust and turns intimacy into a battleground rather than a place of connection and pleasure. - “You have to dominate to be respected.”
Many men are taught that leadership and power come from control, not collaboration. This undermines mutual respect and partnership. - “She’ll never be satisfied.”
Whether in emotional needs, physical appearance, or financial status, this myth convinces men they will never be enough, fostering resentment or withdrawal. - “If she’s strong or independent, she doesn’t need you.”
This leads men to feel unworthy or replaceable in the presence of empowered women, rather than encouraged to grow alongside them.
Myths Women Are Taught About Men
On the other side, many women are conditioned with fear-based or limiting beliefs about men—beliefs that plant seeds of paranoia, sabotage connection, and reinforce cycles of mistrust.
- “Men only want one thing.”
This myth reduces men to sex-driven beings and causes women to be guarded, suspicious, or performative rather than open and curious. - “Don’t get too comfortable—he’ll leave eventually.”
This fear-based belief keeps many women in a state of hyper-vigilance, expecting abandonment even in healthy dynamics. - “If you’re too much, you’ll scare him off.”
Whether it’s ambition, emotion, or desire, this message teaches women to shrink themselves and disconnect from their truth to stay “wanted.” - “Men aren’t capable of deep emotional connection.”
This robs women of the possibility of being seen and held by emotionally attuned men and may lead them to unconsciously pick partners who fulfill the myth. - “You have to do it all—because he won’t.”
This belief breeds burnout and bitterness, convincing women to carry the emotional and logistical labor of the relationship while feeling unsupported.
Both sets of myths are damaging. They don’t reflect truth—they reflect conditioning. And that conditioning is layered with generational pain, cultural influence, and unspoken fear.
But here’s the hope: What is learned can be unlearned.
We can unpack these stories, question them, and discard the ones that no longer serve us. We can write new ones—ones grounded in balance, respect, and truth.
I believe we were designed to work with one another, not in opposition. Feminine and masculine. Soft and strong. Logic and emotion. We are not meant to fight for power—we are meant to share it. To co-create, to support, to lift each other so we all rise.
Your Turn: Reflect and Rewrite
Take a moment. Reflect. Journal.
- What messages did you absorb growing up about what it means to be a man or a woman?
- Which ones helped you?
- Which ones hurt?
- Which ones are holding you back from love, peace, or connection today?
- What would it look like to rewrite those beliefs?
Maybe that’s the first step back to harmony. Back to balance. Back to the field of bubbles and laughter, where no one cares about roles or rules—just being, together.
Tammy Fisher, MA, LPC-S, LMFT-S, CST
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Living In Color: Love, Life & Everything in Between 
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